There’s beauty in simplicity. And now is the time to go simple for your wedding event. One of the elements of having a close-knit wedding is the guest list.

Making a guest list is tough. How do you know whether to invite your best friend from high school or to leave out your second cousin whom you haven’t heard from in years? Yes, it is tricky but there’s always a way. Here’s a guide to see you through it.

Close shot of Quincy & Stella’s marriage ceremony. Shot by @kixils

WHO MAKES THE CUT?

Making a list of everyone you’d like to celebrate with shouldn’t be so hard if you follow these top tips.

1. Preliminary List

Before anything else, draft up a list of roughly everyone you can think of. Do this with your partner so it doesn’t become double work in the end. Start with your nuclear families, then add some close extended relatives. Next, list your closest friends—the ones you simply can’t imagine getting married without. Then you can move on to colleagues, friends from school, church and other organizations you both belong to. This is enough to start with.

2. Cut- Off Point

There’s a limit to everything. To help you downsize your preliminary list, decide how many guests you can afford. You also have to consider the rule of estimation: 85% of local guests would show up, 55% of out-of-town guests should attend. With this in mind, you can make a good guess on how many people to plan for. Remember to split this number between you and your partner ⁠— depending on who knows more people.

3. Elimination

Now that you know who to expect, you can begin to eliminate people from the preliminary list. The best way to break it down is to deal with the family invites first. Then work your way down to everyone else.

Tip #1: Create two groups (privately) — A and B. If they’re people you’d love to go on a holiday with, put them in group A. These ones are definitely getting invited. Put all other friends, neighbours, colleagues and acquaintances in group B. Follow the remaining tips to downsize group B.
Tip #2: If neither of you has spoken to or met them or heard their name before, don’t invite them.
Tip #3: If neither of you has spoken to them in three years and they’re not related to you, don’t invite them.
Tip #4: If you feel bad or guilty about not inviting someone, don’t invite them.
Tip #5: Decide on whether to have children at your event or not.

4. Plus One

One thing you should be very clear about is having additional guests. For instance, if one of the A-listers has a long-term partner, you can include both names on the invitation. Also, if you can afford it, you may allow your single guests to bring a date. You may even choose the particular single guests that are allowed to have plus ones.

If not, make it clear that the invitation is only for the person named on it.

5. Return The Favour

We all have those friends whose weddings we attended. It gets a bit tricky when it’s time to return the favour. So here’s the general rule: If it’s been over five years, you’re not obliged to invite them —even if you were on the bridal party. However, if it’s been two years or less, especially if you played a role at their wedding, that couple should be on your guest list as well.

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