First, you get engaged, next you get married… and then you’re gone for good. Do we realize that most people leave a part of their social lives behind after their weddings? How do your single friends feel when this happens?

There’s a need to know how to communicate with your friends when you start this new life journey. Of course, there’s now a different level of privacy associated with you, but that does not mean you have to cut them off. So in this piece, we’d discuss ways of keeping the bond with your single friends tight, even after getting married.

Caroline and her beautiful bridesmaids rocking that green on her wedding day

SINGLE VS MARRIED

There’s often a gray area when it comes to married people dealing with their single friends and vice versa. So let’s take it from each perspective:

MARRIED— How To Relate

Here’s a common storyline: “A few years ago, most of my friends were single. Occasionally, we’d meet up for lunch or dinner, and we’d have fun telling stories about bad dates, fashion and sometimes gossip… Now, most of my former bad date-having compatriots are married. On the rare occasions we do step out together, we’re more likely to discuss engagement rings and couples’ trips…”

Now, this is not far off from what most single people feel when their friends get hitched. They feel like they’ve lost a grip on a friendship they once cherished. So what can you do?

1. Stand up for your friendships:

Even though everything changes and it’s mostly beyond your control, you are still a good, close friend who matters. Most of them don’t need a partner to feel complete, but they do need their friends. So celebrate your single friends as much as you can. Do not let them feel forgotten; invite them out — with our without your spouse, or to a cookout at your house. Remember their birthdays and get them something nice. It may not be like before, but at least give it a shot.

2. Be expressive:

Don’t be afraid to say how you feel. Friends should express that they’re still important to each other, and reassure each other they hope they can still maintain their close friendship while acknowledging it is naturally going to change. Find time to chat about things you have in common like faith, career, family, hobbies, and finances. Ask about their struggles, and don’t minimize them or compare them to yours. Share your hurts if you want. Ask for advice and offer encouragement. Just learn to support each other.

3. Don’t make it awkward:

Married people just love to hook their single friends up. Sure it’s for a good cause, and sometimes works out, but to what end? Only so they can relate to your marital status? Many single people dislike it, and it may come off as an act of desperation, especially when it happens more than once. So even if you genuinely want to set them up, at least make sure it’s with someone they have things in common with — not just some other single person you know.

The bottom line is adult friendships are bonds to hold on to. So the best you can do is to be a loyal, true friend to others and make sure to appreciate them. Married or not, you still have a life to live and good friends make it worthy.

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