Love has no limits. Yet at some point of one’s love life, there’s an urge to decide on how far the relationship could go. And once you choose marriage and it happens, there has to be some changes.

Usually, the transition from that ‘single life’ to a married one gets blurry. You find young couples questioning themselves on what to, and what not to do as spouses.
Now here’s one truth: Living a single life can be dramatically different from being married. Several things you are used to doing, may all of a sudden come to an end — because you now have to consider your spouse. If not, you can be headed for disaster, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?

Kofi and Agnes all smiles on their engagement day

SINGLE VS MARRIED

When a couple is dressed in their wedding-day finest, promising ‘for better or for worse’ before their closest family and friends, they often don’t know realize just how much work it will take to help their bond stay strong.
Things change and people do as well, but how you embrace them will make or break your union.

1. Independence

Certainly, a married person wouldn’t have the same freedoms as before. When single, you have more privacy and are at liberty to do as you please. You live more freely, because there’s no one looking over you every now and then. Nothing matters; it’s all about you and what makes you comfortable.

In contrast, married people most likely wouldn’t live a free lifestyle. Right from your wedding day, you must always think as a husband and wife. Everything you do must be considered from your husband or wife’s point of view — and this is the first change you have to accept.

Yet, people easily lose themselves in a marriage. Intimacy is therefore important in a relationship. When a couple goes beyond healthy intimacy into an interdependent relationship, it can mean trouble. So find a way to develop your own hobbies, interests or activities outside of your marriage.

2. Money

It is true that there are monetary advantages that come with being married. You finally get to split some bills with someone, and it feels wonderful. On the other hand, you cannot spend money as you please — especially if your funds are combined.

One useful tip is to avoid having joint accounts, if you are easily annoyed by someone else controlling your spending. Trust us, this can lead to so many unnecessary fights.

3. Future

Your future is no longer yours; it’s for you both. Any plans you make would now have the opinions of your spouse, and children, if any. You have to make responsible and sound choices that would not cripple the well-being of your family.

One way to get around this is to strengthen communication channels between you two. Constantly and openly discussing ideas, soluions or even fears, is always a good idea than keeping things to yourself.

4. Secrecy

No third parties allowed!
Successful marriages often attribute to trust and secrecy. When single, it might not matter to you who knows your private affairs. But once you are married, it does matter!

Certainly, you cannot go telling it all to whoever wants to listen. We all know how it’s like when people ridicule and misjudge your situation because you put it out there. Even if you have to, finding a mutual advisor or counsellor to help you solve issues is a good option. Parents are also good sources of trust. And at all costs, avoid discussing private marital issues with friends or acquintances.

5. Anger

You’re in a relationship — you argue on phone, you hang up and go to bed. Or you fight in person, and simply find your way home to call it a night. In a marriage, this is virtually impossible to do; even if you do not live together. The number-one thing experts advise before marriage is that “you should never go to bed angry at your partner”.

Everyone fights with their partner, and that’s natural. But you need to gather the strength to just apologize before the day ends. Regardless of who is right or wrong, making current peace is better than brewing a future war.

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