Wedding vows are not mere words. Like a building, they’re the concrete to the institution of marriage. Many times we have people saying things they don’t mean. But this should not be the case with wedding vows. Just imagine a mansion put up with the wrong concrete mix…yup, bound to crack or even collapse. So don’t make that mistake. Understand what you say and why you’re saying it.

This is why contemporary wedding experts always advise that we write our own vows. These words are unique, and would unite us more than any other ‘outdated’ set of words. Look at it this way: Marriage is a commitment correct? This commitment is between two distinctive people. So is it not a little ‘absurd’ to promise each other the same things everyone else does? Every relationship is different, therefore what would work for that couple might not necessarily work for yours.

Hence you and your partner need to sit down and look deep into your hearts, to find the right words… to phrase the right promises. Since we are so kind , we’ll help you out with some tips on writing your own vows…

Nana and Naa happily in the process of sharing their wedding vows

FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS FOR YOUR VOWS

• Discuss with your officiant

Ghana we dey! Regardless of how you feel about your own wedding, there are norms and ways we already do things. If you’re fortunate enough to have a lenient officiant, talk to him/her about this idea. You’d be surprised what they can bring to the table. A briefing on the origin of vows, their importance and religious significance never hurt anybody. So be humble and listen.

And if you thought you were going to do away with the ” For better, for worse” portion, well think again lol! Yeah, they definitely won’t let you. Be prepared to fuse in parts of the conventional vows with the new ones you’d be bringing in. But not to worry, it’s perfectly fine! Don’t forget to also run your new vows by them, before the wedding day.

• Research on vows

It is not entirely mandatory that you write your own vows. Sometimes, someone else’s work/thoughts align with yours. Also, you can find romantic quotes from books, journals etc.  So put on your Google cap and go surfing for information. It’s not an exam, no one will fail you for copying.

• Find a suitable format

Some people would love to write their vows together with their partners. Others would prefer it being a secret. Then there’s the subject of style. Will your vows be humor-filled, poetic, romantic or formal? Sit down and talk about this too, so you know you’re on the same page.

 

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• Remember special moments

What makes written vows more special are personal moments. Think about how you felt when you first met, what made you fall in love and when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. Write down the most memorable moments you have shared together, good or bad. You don’t have to spell it out for all to hear, you can write it out in “code”. Only your partner should understand some of your words. It’d certainly keep your guests guessing!

• Chip in some promises

The icing on the cake lies in the secret ingredient– PROMISES. You can’t say a vow without.. a vow. Promises are the most important part. Throw in some “I promise I’ll always…” or “I promise I’ll be there…” quotes.

One last tip is to practice. Make sure to memorize all or most of your words. This way you can look into their eyes and hypnotize them with your incredible words. *wink*