Akoto & Louisa: His Chosen One
WHEN YIN MEETS YANG
‘The Yin to my Yang’ is something you often hear when it comes to love. But it actually holds meanings that go beyond love. The principle of Yin and Yang is that “all things exist as inseparable and contradictory opposites”. For example, female-male, dark-light and old-young. Neither is superior to the other and, as an increase in one brings a corresponding decrease in the other, a correct balance between the two poles must be reached in order to achieve harmony.
Therefore, when a man decides it’s time to find his Yin [which is the female], he must find the one who absolutely completes him. It’s more like the missing rib saying — the rib cage is made full when the long lost one joins it.
All theories aside, what we’re trying to say that when getting married, one needs to be absolutely sure of the person they’re deciding to live their forever with. Simply because your peace and happiness are on the line, if you do not choose well. But how do you know the one?
The existence of one depends on the existence of the other
WHO IS THE ONE?
Yes it is true that perfection does not exist, and everyone is flawed . Yet that does not mean everyone qualifies to be the one. We acknowledge that picking a lifetime partner is subject to individual preferences — after all we are all different. There are, however, some basic things everyone looks out for when finding their ‘yin’ or ‘yang’.
1. How you feel
Obvious, but still worth emphasizing. How we feel are liable to change in different situations. Sometimes it’s a love-hate thing between partners, other times it’s a clear case of unconditional love. Whatever the case may be, observing how you feel when there’s change is a good place to start from. Everyone likes the good times, but there’s bound to be bad. When that happens, it is crucial to know if your ‘partner’ would still be there, standing by you all the way.
“While it’s not pleasant to think about the worst of the worst that life can throw at you, when considering whether or not you’re with the person to marry, it can be useful to consider the darker side of life and how you imagine the two of you might fair through it together,” marriage expert Erica Curtis once said.
If this person proves to be reliable in all times, then you’re right to pick them.
Even in regular friendships, people choose to stick with people whose thoughts align with theirs; how much more lifetime partners? It is usually a recipe for disaster when a couple disagree on more than they agree on. So in crucial matters of life; like finances, family size, character, one’s yin has to be along similar lines.
Everyone comes with their own baggage — perfection is a hoax. So you have to ask yourself; can you tolerate the ‘bad’ of your spouse? When people look beyond what they have in common, they’re left with the puzzle as to how to accept the others. If you can, and for a long term, then you’re probably with the right person.
It is easy to confuse intimacy and intensity as love, but you have to look beyond that. Consider whether you’d want this person to be one of your best friends if you had no romantic interest. For instance, communication is key in friendships, so access your partner along these lines. Is he or she someone you find it easy to share anything with? Are you able to correct each other when wrong? Or point out dislikes? Does this person show complete support and has your best interest at heart?
You’d know the choice to make if you can accept the answers to these.
Lastly, it’s not always about the other person. How to know who is the right one for you depends on how you see yourself. It’s easy to find the speck in others’ eyes, than the log in yours. So take a step back and evaluate yourself.
If you’re too accommodating, conflict-avoidant, eager to please, and desperate to make it work, you won’t get to know a prospective partner. Slow things down and practise having a clear, strong, assertive voice in the relationship. Observe your behaviors with and without your partner and see if there’s some common ground.
Chances are that you’re not right for this person if you’re different when they are not around.
MR & MRS AKOTO DAPAAH
- Groom: @dapsstyling
- Bride: @louisafofie
- Photography: @t.philips
- Dress: @dreamwedding4u @dreamwedding4u_boutique
- Suit: @dapsstyling @udokaejiofor
- Makeup: @ilashbyada
- Hair: @gloriousshair
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